tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-48169507974292632672024-02-07T15:23:22.953-05:00La Vie WhitnaeThe ramblings of your not-so-average early 20's cross dimensional being.malicewhithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03269514423032788139noreply@blogger.comBlogger78125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4816950797429263267.post-52688987541374084612009-06-02T15:58:00.005-04:002009-06-02T16:35:58.385-04:00TraitorsDear Mothers who tell their sons not to have relationships in college,<br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhychVIM3ukzT2vCrcvkbgmSXwjGuBY4uJMPsG_92xqHf6XAQriK4FdWS0ACYD6OhXf7ylUr4Zeg60LRH7FZ2wozDfNJcG-CQshfb8ACOsU-W_v_nECuTnl5zVxAhbz7EOqWhaB7UwYCVAM/s1600-h/mean-old-lady.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 177px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhychVIM3ukzT2vCrcvkbgmSXwjGuBY4uJMPsG_92xqHf6XAQriK4FdWS0ACYD6OhXf7ylUr4Zeg60LRH7FZ2wozDfNJcG-CQshfb8ACOsU-W_v_nECuTnl5zVxAhbz7EOqWhaB7UwYCVAM/s200/mean-old-lady.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5342830161779873330" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Fuck you, you saggy, smug, old cunts. Were you not once young? How dare you sabotage an entire generation of men <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4SL2QDFnW8YUmwcb8sGLYfmgdb37dTH9B0br71Xm7XBawgeMtcGJDPkcD9VF5hAbWz8X5D23Q7Q4TMSA55xxZUHCpRO-hOv5jhk3AGRvi8kFH0YbT7UiAVvErKNgiNQOwffsYdGgx48fN/s1600-h/benefits.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 128px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4SL2QDFnW8YUmwcb8sGLYfmgdb37dTH9B0br71Xm7XBawgeMtcGJDPkcD9VF5hAbWz8X5D23Q7Q4TMSA55xxZUHCpRO-hOv5jhk3AGRvi8kFH0YbT7UiAVvErKNgiNQOwffsYdGgx48fN/s200/benefits.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5342829648393768082" border="0" /></a>already commitment phobic from having healthy relationships with girls their own age. Who are you to say when the right time to meet someone is? How dare you scare the male species into being LESS mature. You must be some kind of cold emotionless bitch to reduce a potential daughter-in-law into being your son's 'friend with benefits.' It seems to be the only way to even get a guy to consider spending time with you is to convince him that you don't want a relationship. Its women like you that reduce the majority of the female species into horny, stupid girls who settle with guys that don't deserve them. How about instead of telling your son how and when to date, instill in him some manner of how to treat the female species. Your son probably doesn't see past a big pair of tits and a tight cunt because you don't want him to "get hung up on a girl." You are a traitor to your sex.<br />You are contributing to the death of love and monogamy.<br /><br /><br />How the fuck do you sleep at night?<br />La Vie Whitnaemalicewhithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03269514423032788139noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4816950797429263267.post-58839231061939763302009-05-01T02:13:00.002-04:002009-05-01T02:18:31.616-04:00How to help those who won't help themselvesI have a friend whose circling the gutter. He thinks the options in front of him are so grim that he slights any suggestion I make for him to try and improve himself. <br />I wouldn't be the happiest camper if i were him either, but... if I were him, I wouldn't write my life off because I thought it was hard, or because I didn't want to do the hard parts of it along with the easy ones. <br /><br />So today based on the following advice, I follow a new policy: <br /><br />"Clinical depression is a serious illness but far to often clients with depression use it as an excuse for unexceptable behavior. They begin to feel entitled because of their illness. They aren't really addressing their illness aggressively either. They become content with not working and having someone else pick up the tab for what is essentially their laziness.<br />This might sound like I'm bashing a mentally ill person but I've seen alot of people with depression, very severe depression, who really want to be better and so do whatever they can to continue being productive. These people force themselves to eat right, exercise, take their meds, not drink or do drugs, socialize a little, and work, even when that is a very difficult thing to do. "malicewhithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03269514423032788139noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4816950797429263267.post-83619718457864682522009-04-22T03:17:00.002-04:002009-04-22T03:31:33.330-04:00Good Vs BadI don't have the energy to write about something that requires brain work. I do have enough energy to write a list. Hopefully it'll clue in those who care about what's up. <br /><br />The Bad: <br /><br />1. My Mom put my cat down, I've had him since I was 6. I didn't get a chance to say goodbye. <br />2. I can't get a permit to shoot a student documentary in Miami this weekend. So either I shoot everything on private property (which would be mad boring) or I shoot it illegal and forgo any chance of this hitting the festival circuit. <br />3. I haven't been able to go to sleep before 4am this past week, even though I have to get up super early. <br />4. The Documentary I'm making is about how my best friend is a porn star, which my mom can't know. Which I must keep a secret from her and have to hide from her when she asks me to see the finished product. <br />5. My love life is dead, I don't even like anyone or find anyone within a 5 mile radius worth my time. <br /><br />The Good: <br />1. Its almost summer. Even though I'll be on set, at least life will be simpler. <br />2. I'm really happy about the people I'm going to be working with next fall. <br />3. I have some money for the first time since March. <br />4. The stuff I'm working on for the most part is really satisfying. <br />5. I'm feeling super inspired lately. <br />6. There are no stupid, selfish, anti-commitment guys to deal with right now. <br />7. My hair is awesome... and blonde! :D<br />8. My upcoming projects are really promising.malicewhithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03269514423032788139noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4816950797429263267.post-56360081232385451162009-04-14T01:16:00.001-04:002009-04-14T01:16:49.532-04:00FSU prepares to eliminate 21 programs and close Panama City campushttp://www.tallahassee.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20090413/BREAKINGNEWS/90413030&s=d&page=3#pluckcomments<br /><br /><br />Florida State administrators this afternoon released a draft of proposed wide-sweeping cutbacks at the university, based on current reductions in state revenue.<br />Advertisement<br /><br />If enacted, they would dramatically alter the university as we know it.<br /><br />Twenty-one degree programs at FSU would be eliminated, including anthropology, German, oceanography, physical education and hospitality and golf management.<br /><br />Numerous other programs would be reduced, merged or restructured. The Panama City campus would close effective Jan. 1, 2010. And approximately 350 faculty members would be laid off.<br /><br />“It’s almost unbearable to consider,” FSU President T.K. Wetherell said. “This is going to have a lot of ramifications.”<br /><br />The draft of cutbacks came out of the university’s budget crisis committee, which met earlier today. It was the first time specific programs were targeted for elimination.<br /><br />Wetherell has scheduled a town hall meeting for next Tuesday to discuss the university’s plan for addressing the massive reductions in state aid. He’s expecting members of the Faculty Senate to have a counter-proposal to the draft released on Monday.<br /><br />Music professor Jayne Standley, president of FSU’s Faculty Senate, believes the Legislature holds the power to change the budget forecasts.<br /><br />“These (cutbacks) don’t have to happen,” she said. “The Legislature could solve this problem by solving the revenue problem in Florida.<br /><br />“The size of the cuts that may be necessary are devastating,” Standley added. “I think the sum total is overwhelming and really will damage the university that Florida State has become.”<br /><br />The state Senate and House will begin debating their respective higher education budgets this week.<br /><br />FSU stands to receive $28.2 million less for the 2009-10 school year than it did in 2008-09 based on the Senate version, and $78.2 million less in the current House budget.<br /><br />Senator Don Gaetz, a Republican from Niceville, said he sympathizes with Wetherell and FSU.<br /><br />“In the toughest economy since the Great Depression, when nobody in my district is telling me the answer to their problems is for government to get a bigger slice of the pie, I’ve cast some pretty tough votes to increase fees up and down the line,” Gaetz said.<br /><br />“We looked in the basement of the Capitol to see if there was some Confederate gold buried there,” he added. “There wasn’t. There’s no magic money.”<br /><br />Programs targeted for elimination:<br />Anthropology<br />Apparel Design<br />Geophysical Fluid Dynamics<br />Geological Sciences<br />Molecular Biophysics<br />Oceanography<br />Hospitality & Golf Management<br />Physical Education<br />Science Education (College of Education)<br />Geography<br />Behavioral Psychology<br />Software Engineering<br />Art Education<br />Ceramics<br />Sculpture<br />Studio Art<br />Recreational Management<br />German<br />Slavic Languages<br />Demography<br />Art Administrationmalicewhithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03269514423032788139noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4816950797429263267.post-25307799112468063522009-04-13T15:38:00.000-04:002009-04-13T15:39:44.236-04:00Woody Harrelson claims he mistook photographer for zombiehttp://www.cnn.com/2009/SHOWBIZ/Movies/04/10/woody.harrelson.zombie/index.html<br /><br />By Alan Duke<br />CNN<br /><br /><br />(CNN) -- Woody Harrelson defended his clash with a photographer at a New York airport Wednesday night as a case of mistaken identity -- he says he mistook the cameraman for a zombie.<br />Woody Harrelson says he got into a clash with a photographer because he mistook him for a zombie.<br /><br />Woody Harrelson says he got into a clash with a photographer because he mistook him for a zombie.<br /><br />The TMZ photographer filed a complaint with police claiming the actor damaged his camera and pushed him in the face at La Guardia Airport, according to an airport spokesman.<br /><br />"We're looking into this allegation and if it's warranted, we'll turn it over to the proper authorities," said Port Authority of New York and New Jersey spokesman Ron Marsico.<br /><br />The photographer, who was not identified, captured the encounter on a small camera after his larger one was broken.<br /><br />Harrelson, who is being sued by another TMZ photographer for an alleged assault in 2006, did not deny his involvement.<br /><br />"I wrapped a movie called 'Zombieland,' in which I was constantly under assault by zombies, then flew to New York, still very much in character," Harrelson said in a statement issued Friday by his publicist.<br /><br />"With my daughter at the airport I was startled by a paparazzo, who I quite understandably mistook for a zombie," he said.<br /><br />TMZ.com posted two videos of the incident, including one recorded by the larger camera before it was damaged.<br /><br />The first video shows the photographer following Harrelson and his daughter down an escalator and out of the terminal. It ends with Harrelson apparently reaching for the lens.<br />Don't Miss<br /><br /> * Time: Zombies are the new vampires<br /><br />The second video begins with the photographer accusing Harrelson of breaking his camera.<br /><br />After Harrelson returns the camera to him, a scuffle appears to ensue.<br /><br />"Woody, this is assault. Woody, this is assault," the photographer is heard saying. "Woody, chill out. Would you please chill out?"<br /><br />The photographer continues to follow Harrelson for another four minutes as the actor and his daughter walk to the airport parking lot. At one point, Harrelson again turns toward the cameraman.<br /><br />"I'm being chased by Woody Harrelson while I'm talking to you," the photographer says as he talks to an unidentified person on a cell phone.<br /><br />"He hit me in my face, he broke my friggin' camera, he broke the camera in pieces," he said.<br /><br />Harrelson, his daughter and a driver get inside an SUV and the encounter ends.<br /><br />In the movie "Zombieland," Harrelson plays "the most frightened person on Earth" looking for refuge from zombies, according to the Internet Movie Database<br /><br />Filming on the movie wrapped in Atlanta, Georgia, on Wednesday, according to director Ruben Fleischer's Web site.<br /><br />TMZ photographer Josh Levine filed a lawsuit against Harrelson last year for an alleged attack outside a Hollywood nightclub in 2006.<br /><br />Video of that incident, which is also posted on TMZ.com, also appeared to show Harrelson grabbing a camera and clashing with the photographer.<br /><br />Los Angeles prosecutors declined to press charges against the actor, but Levine filed a suit last summer asking for $2.5 million in damages.<br /><br />"Woody Harrelson has a history of anger management issues with people and we intend to put a stop to this," Cyrus Nownejad, Levine's lawyer, said Friday.<br /><br />TMZ is partly owned by AOL, part of CNN's parent company, Time Warner.malicewhithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03269514423032788139noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4816950797429263267.post-449470032111269572009-02-22T19:18:00.001-05:002009-02-22T19:20:14.020-05:00vid blog 2: Challenge!<object width="340" height="285"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/df5V1um7JMA&hl=en&fs=1&color1=0xcc2550&color2=0xe87a9f&border=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/df5V1um7JMA&hl=en&fs=1&color1=0xcc2550&color2=0xe87a9f&border=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="340" height="285"></embed></object>malicewhithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03269514423032788139noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4816950797429263267.post-20971510190796585002009-02-22T00:32:00.000-05:002009-02-22T00:38:33.680-05:00Reasons why I am the perfect woman for a 35 year old professional1. Guys are scared of growing old, dating someone hot and younger makes them feel better about themselves. Being both younger and “hot” to the right people (those who like more than boobs on a stick) I fulfill those fantasies. <br />2. I too have strong career goals. <br />3. I am in my 20’s (just entered, yay) so therefore I am a ball of spontaneity and playfulness. This keeps guys enthused and is a necessary part of any relationship. <br />4. I am ready to try something serious. <br />5. Though my hands have been bitten many times (and continues to be bitten). I am still willing to hold my heart out with both hands. <br />6. Older guys do not always have the energy that young men do. They like to be challenged but they also like to lay back. I am not terribly athletic and enjoy my days in bed sometimes. Therefore I am a great homebody companion for lazy days. Conversely, I can never have enough sex. Who can hate that? <br />7. I tolerate shit for the sake of generosity and giving people a fair try. <br />8. I like shared showers. <br />9. Guys with goals turn me on, but success isn’t something that drives my emotions. <br />10. Getting dressed up is fun to me. <br />11. I’ll go to any party: wine party, kegger, or family luau… I mean really who cares. It’s a true test of two people’s relationship to see if they can really have fun wherever they go. That’s how I know my best friend Shaayna and I are made for each other. <br />12. I hate people who complain about getting up before noon. <br />13. My loyalty is not dependant on what time you come home. <br /><br />In conclusion, I am tired of fucking dealing with shallow ass Tallahassee people. It doesn’t even really matter whether I want to date them, fuck them or just plain and simply to be their friend. There is something about his town that turns people into flakes. People will take your feelings and stomp on you as if you were a cigarette butt. I feel like every friendship/relationship I have up here is on a timer. Everyone just smiles and laughs as the timer ticks by. At the first sign of distaste they abandon you, and show no desire to patch things up. <br />I hate it. <br />Sometimes I think its on par with the disvalue of human life. I mean, if we don’t look at each encounter as a gift from God, who knows how we might think back on the present. Who knows what pain our rash actions today may cost us later? I wish people here could just grow the fuck up. Or I wish I could get the fuck out. Really, I just want to join a scene where people don’t take others for granted.malicewhithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03269514423032788139noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4816950797429263267.post-80780876995957366352009-02-16T03:47:00.003-05:002009-02-16T04:09:21.476-05:00Dating While In A Temporary MindsetI have a new version of the "i have a friend" speak: <br /><br />I am going to tell this story in first person HOWEVER...This is not about me, this story is not about anyone in particular. I just feel this lesson needs to be shared. <br /><br /><br />Sabine: <br />Seriously, hoW are you mad at me fore being with other guys when you yourself have been doing the same with other girls. <br /><br />Jake: <br />Seriously, am I not with a new girl every month. <br /><br />Sabine: <br />First of all its none of your business what I do, if you don't want to have sex with me anymore no one is forcing you. <br /><br />Jake: <br />Look I'm not calling you a slut. I just don't want to do this activity with you because this is more of a date than I'm not comfortable with yet in the trust dept. <br /><br />Sabine: <br />This is ridiculous, I have never fucked someone or even flirted with someone all hardcore in front of you ever. When you're with me I give you most of my attention. <br /><br />Jake: <br />Yeah but the last two people you slept with are just a little to close for comfort in my book as far as friends go. <br /><br />Sabine: <br />You mean the last two people you happen to know! Neither of them are your best friends. Besides, I slept with one in high school when I was 17 years old. <br /><br />Jake: <br />Look I just don't want to go on a date with you. I like you but I just don't think you're ready for a committed relationship. <br /><br />Sabine:<br />You spend half you week drunk after 9 pm and I get up at 8 am on the dot 6 days a week and I"M the immature irresponsible one?!?<br /><br />Jake: <br />I just need time and I need you to-<br /><br />Sabine: <br />Why are you doing this? Why can't we just date and see what happens? I'm not asking you to introduce me as your girlfriend and to suddenly commit to all these...things! I'm asking you to try it with me. Lets see if it works, who cares if it doesn't. <br />I would stop sleeping with other people if you promised me some emotional security. Let's make love instead of having sex! <br /><br />Jake: <br />I just can't. I'm sorry, I like you a lot. I just need to hear from you that you're going to allow what we have to transform your flirtatious behavior with other guys. <br /><br />Sabine: <br />And the minute you do the same is the minute you earn my commitment. I will not allow you to do this double standard bullshit at me twice. <br /><br />Jake: <br />Whatever, I have never slept with one of your friends-<br /><br />Sabine: <br />Those guys are not you friends-<br /><br />Jake: <br />OR compared you to other people in anyway!<br /><br />Sabine: <br />Oh yes you do. You do it everyday. I'd just rather have us be honest than lie to each other.malicewhithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03269514423032788139noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4816950797429263267.post-36554336689195717692009-02-13T18:54:00.000-05:002009-02-13T18:55:25.145-05:00Dancing while laying down...<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/2_HXUhShhmY&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/2_HXUhShhmY&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>malicewhithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03269514423032788139noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4816950797429263267.post-71622311208753843232009-02-11T12:31:00.002-05:002009-02-11T12:50:49.729-05:00Evesdropping!This is kind of old, I think by now everyone knows about the "overheard" craze. But for those who haven't its basically people writing into their overheard site (which could be organized by their college or their region) about funny shit they hear strangers say.<br /><br />Here are a few of my favorites:<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">NY</span><br /><h3 class="title"> You Look a <i>Lot</i> Different Vertical </h3> <span class="speakerline"><span class="speakerlabel"><!-- ID = 102715 -->Suit</span>: Hey, Tom! Tom!</span><br /><span class="speakerline"><span class="speakerlabel">Tom</span>: Hey there.</span><br /><span class="speakerline"><span class="speakerlabel">Suit</span>: Nice to see you fully clothed for a change. (winks)</span><br /><span class="speakerline"><span class="speakerlabel">Tom (looks around, sees bystanders eavesdropping)</span>: Yeah, uh, (raises voice) See you at the gym, Dan. (turns around abruptly, hurries into building)</span><br /><br /><span class="location">--53rd & 5th</span><br /><br /><h3 class="title">She Pays Hobos by the Hour, to Reinforce Her Dictation </h3><br /><span class="speakerline"><span class="speakerlabel">Conductor</span>: Next stop, 81st Street, Museum of Natural History. </span><br /><span class="speakerline"><span class="speakerlabel">Mom to young son</span>: Okay, sweetie, this is our stop for the museum.</span><br /><span class="speakerline"><span class="speakerlabel">Six-year-old boy</span>: But mom, I wanna go to Central Park instead! </span><br /><span class="speakerline"><span class="speakerlabel">Hobo</span>: Listen to your mother, boy! Go the museum. Git yerself some edjumicate... Edjcation...go learn something! </span><br /><span class="speakerline"><span class="speakerlabel">Six-year-old boy</span>: Mommy, what did he say? </span><br /><span class="speakerline"><span class="speakerlabel">Mom</span>: He said, "don't be fucking stupid." Let's go.</span><br /><br /><h3 class="title"> I Dig Chicks With Mustaches </h3> <span class="speakerline"><span class="speakerlabel"><!-- ID = 100973 -->Russian girl to hipster</span>: What's wrong with your hair?</span><br /><span class="speakerline"><span class="speakerlabel">Hipster</span>: I dunno, what's wrong with your face?</span><br /><span class="speakerline"><span class="speakerlabel">Russian girl</span>: (silence)</span><br /><span class="speakerline"><span class="speakerlabel">Hipster</span>: So, what's your name?</span><br /><br /><span class="location">--Q Train</span><br /><br /><h3 class="title"> They Really Should Have Rehearsed </h3> <span class="speakerline"><span class="speakerlabel"><!-- ID = 49488 -->Intercom hijacker #1 playing rap music</span>: All aboard, all aboard...</span><br /><span class="speakerline"><span class="speakerlabel">Intercom hijacker #2</span>: I wanna give a shout-out to my nigga, Antoine...</span><br /><span class="speakerline"><span class="speakerlabel">Intercom hijacker #1</span>: And my nigga Ruiz...</span><br /><span class="speakerline"><span class="speakerlabel">Conductor</span>: If you do not get off this intercom, I will have you arrested at the next stop!</span><br /><span class="speakerline"><span class="speakerlabel">Intercom hijacker #1</span>: Whatever, nigga. Y'all on this train can suck a dick.</span><br /><span class="speakerline"><span class="speakerlabel">Intercom hijacker #2</span>: Y'all can die.</span><br /><span class="speakerline"><span class="speakerlabel">Intercom hijacker #1</span>: Yeah. Y'all can die... on a dick.</span><br /><br /><span class="location">--6 train</span><br /><h3 class="title"><a href="http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/000710.html">Fill My Teeth With Jelly</a></h3><br /><span class="speakerline"><span class="speakerlabel">Asian guy</span>: So you really love chicken, huh?</span><br /><span class="speakerline"><span class="speakerlabel">Big white guy</span>: Actually no, its not really healthy to eat a lot of meat.</span><br /><span class="speakerline"><span class="speakerlabel">Asian guy (looking confused)</span>: But you eat all those crazy amounts of skittles in your desk, right?</span><br /><span class="speakerline"><span class="speakerlabel">Big white guy</span>: Yeah, but I don't have any cavities. I mean, I had some and got them filled, but I don't have any cavities right now.</span><br /><br /><span class="location">--Wall St</span><br /><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Not NY</span><br /><br /><h3 class="title"> Not the First Time He's Had to Clarify That Today </h3> <span class="speakerline"><span class="speakerlabel"><!-- ID = 91842 -->Guy</span>: That motherfucking cop has driven past here twice in the last fifteen minutes.</span><br /><span class="speakerline"><span class="speakerlabel">Cop (on car's loudspeaker)</span>: I'm not a motherfucker.</span><br /><br /><span class="location">University of Georgia<br />Athens, Georgia<br /><br /></span><h3 class="title"> Whoever Cares the Least Wins the Fight </h3> <p><span class="speakerline"><span class="speakerlabel"><!-- ID = 96657 -->Woman (sarcastically)</span>: I'm sorry, I'm such a bitch.</span><br /><span class="speakerline"><span class="speakerlabel">Man</span>: Hmm...</span><br /><span class="speakerline"><span class="speakerlabel">Woman</span>: You think I'm a bitch, don't you?</span><br /><span class="speakerline"><span class="speakerlabel">Man</span>: I didn't say that.</span><br /><span class="speakerline"><span class="speakerlabel">Woman</span>: You didn't disagree with me.</span><br /><span class="speakerline"><span class="speakerlabel">Man</span>: You know yourself better than I do.</span><br /><span class="speakerline"><span class="speakerlabel">Woman</span>: I can't believe you called me a bitch.</span><br /><span class="speakerline"><span class="speakerlabel">Man</span>: I didn't call you a bitch, you called yourself a bitch.</span><br /><span class="speakerline"><span class="speakerlabel">Woman</span>: But you didn't tell me I'm not a bitch.</span><br /><span class="speakerline"><span class="speakerlabel">Man</span>: Because you're acting like a bitch.</span><br /><span class="speakerline"><span class="speakerlabel">Woman</span>: See? You think I'm a bitch!</span><br /><span class="speakerline"><span class="speakerlabel">Man</span>: I said you were acting like a bitch.</span><br /><span class="speakerline"><span class="speakerlabel">Woman</span>: Whats the difference?</span><br /><span class="speakerline"><span class="speakerlabel">Man</span>: Dustin Hoffman acted like a retard, but it doesn't mean he is one.</span><br /><span class="speakerline"><span class="speakerlabel">Woman</span>: I don't know what that's supposed to mean, but you're a dick for thinking I'm a bitch.</span><br /><span class="speakerline"><span class="speakerlabel">Man</span>: Do you mean I'm acting like a dick or I am a dick?</span><br /><span class="speakerline"><span class="speakerlabel">Woman</span>: Fuck you! (storms out)</span><br /><span class="speakerline"><span class="speakerlabel">Man</span>: Too easy. Caramel Macchiato please!</span><br /><br /><span class="location">Starbucks<br />Westminster, Colorado</span></p><p><br /><span class="location"></span></p><br /><h3 class="title"> If I Show You a Boob, Will You Forget This Lecture Ever Happened? </h3> <span class="speakerline"><span class="speakerlabel"><!-- ID = 96474 -->Moral and religious education teacher, describing opening scene of <i>Gridiron Gang</i></span>: So the movie opens, right, and you hear all these guns going off, and everyone's gangbanging everywhere...</span><br /><span class="speakerline"><span class="speakerlabel">Students</span>: (silence, then loud raucous laughter)</span><br /><span class="speakerline"><span class="speakerlabel">Teacher</span>: Oh, Jesus Christ... I mean they're shooting loads at each other... Oh god, no...</span><br /><br /><span class="location">Centennial Regional High School<br />Quebec<br />Canadia<br /><br /></span><h3 class="title"> Although I <i>Do</i> Like the Nightlife </h3> <span class="speakerline"><span class="speakerlabel"><!-- ID = 65053 -->Queer, when Bible-thumping lady splashes him with holy water</span>: I'm a faggot, not a vampire. There's a difference.</span><br /><br /><span class="location">San Luis Obispo Gay Pride Festival<br />San Francisco, California<br /><br /></span><h3 class="title"> Probably the Funniest Thing Ever Uttered in a Statistics Class </h3> <p><span class="speakerline"><span class="speakerlabel"><!-- ID = 79768 -->Indian professor with thick accent</span>: Okay class. If I flip this coin 50 times, what is the probability that I get head?</span><br /><span class="speakerline"><span class="speakerlabel">Dude in the back</span>: Man, I could flip a coin 100 times and I'm still not gettin' head.</span><br /><span class="speakerline"><span class="speakerlabel">(class bursts into hysterical laughter)<br />Indian professor</span>: What? What did I say?</span><br /><br /><span class="location">Statistics Class, George Washington University<br />Washington, DC</span></p><p><br /><span class="location"></span></p><br /><h3 class="title"> But No One Who Speaks German Could Be a Mean Guy! </h3> <p><span class="speakerline"><span class="speakerlabel"><!-- ID = 83198 -->American guy</span>: Could you stamp my passport, please? It's a hobby of mine.</span><br /><span class="speakerline"><span class="speakerlabel">Passport checker to coworker, in German</span>: These damn Americans always want something. Look, they've all got booze and bags and t-shirts. Now they want stamps.</span><br /><span class="speakerline"><span class="speakerlabel">American girl</span>: Sir, I'd like mine stamped, too.</span><br /><span class="speakerline"><span class="speakerlabel">Passport checker, in German</span>: I bet that girl was here to fuck guys. American girls become sluts in Europe.</span><br /><span class="speakerline"><span class="speakerlabel">American girl</span>: Sir, that's not very nice!</span><br /><span class="speakerline"><span class="speakerlabel">Passport checker, still in German</span>: I hate it when they know German. Then we can't talk about them!</span><br /><br /><span class="location">Airport<br />Cologne<br />Germany</span></p>malicewhithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03269514423032788139noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4816950797429263267.post-67108231221444592902009-02-11T01:06:00.003-05:002009-02-11T01:16:36.817-05:00bffs? kkk and akc... yeah, that's what PETA thinks.Try not to wet your seats with this one folks....<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxhaAfA9cxZB9SASpO_1BLF10IjmKCQtbB7DF9Iq6_w6w1ahUraHWWVWjpIK-_VYjhQdkXJfM5c5udcj-iUxBAd6eQHjKhi4hGjP6RwepHn6AS1DMavYzzA1XdqhUKs-wRwokhsLLI5Sgj/s1600-h/Picture+1.png"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 476px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxhaAfA9cxZB9SASpO_1BLF10IjmKCQtbB7DF9Iq6_w6w1ahUraHWWVWjpIK-_VYjhQdkXJfM5c5udcj-iUxBAd6eQHjKhi4hGjP6RwepHn6AS1DMavYzzA1XdqhUKs-wRwokhsLLI5Sgj/s200/Picture+1.png" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5301418432684174930" border="0" /></a><br />Never before had I had really strong opinions about anything PETA has ever promoted. But god damn it, this is fucking hilarious.<br /><br />According to PETA, the AKC is apparently trying to create a master race of dogs. Logically, this is the goal of keeping doggie bloodlines pure. I mean why else would they keep trying to create competition for shelter dogs?<br /><br />Here they are in PETA's latest leaflet shaking hands with the KKK, securing their planes to breed the master dogs for the master race. Lol, only mutts are the liberal's best friend now.<br /><br />To read more visit this url:<br /><br />http://gothamist.com/2009/02/10/peta_protests_westminster.php<br /><br />The poodles are being bred to befriend the racist. You know the world's gone to shit when the sheepdogs are growing out their fur to hide their swatstika tattoos.<br /><br /><br />God, I love PETA.malicewhithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03269514423032788139noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4816950797429263267.post-48682399191326948912009-02-10T23:28:00.003-05:002009-02-10T23:37:43.350-05:00Killer of JadeSo we saw this amazing film tonight in one of my film classes. It was called Killer of Sheep.<br /><br />Its a MFA thesis film that was finally released in 2007 even though it was made in 1977.<br /><br />Rather than tell you I'll let my thank you letter to my professor explain why this movie is so great:<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://blackburnandsweetzer.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/08/killer-of-sheep_poster-lg.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 238px; height: 342px;" src="http://blackburnandsweetzer.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/08/killer-of-sheep_poster-lg.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />"Dear Andrew,<br /><br />I know this may be a cornball email of me to write but...<br />I just want to let you know how much one of the comments you made at the end of class really meant to me. When you were talking about how Killer of Sheep was fighting the Hollywood model of moving making... Everyone in the class was trying to find the answer to how the film would find its audience were it made today, and C.O was going on about how the sound flaws in it would make people not want to see it... Well I've been having a sort of internal conflict of morals lately, like allowing myself to become really jaded by the insecure competitive nature of my class.<br />Its always been in my mind that I shouldn't make movies to impress others or to gain notoriety. However, lately I've been so swept up in my f2 and doc that I'd forgotten that promise I'd made to myself. Its easy to forget that when everyone is still stuck in grade school trying to better their work for the purpose of receiving praise rather than artistic satisfaction.<br />So thank you for reminding me that there is more than one way/reason to make a film.<br /><br />Sorry to cheese up your inbox,<br />Whitnae "<br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://i.ehow.com/images/GlobalPhoto/Articles/2169271/martini-main_Full.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 136px; height: 190px;" src="http://i.ehow.com/images/GlobalPhoto/Articles/2169271/martini-main_Full.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />Here's to hoping we all remember that we shouldn't create art to impress other people. It shouldn't matter whether ten or ten million people see you film. Every eye that needs to see your film will, if you work hard on it and put a piece of yourself into it.<br /><br />Break the Hollywood model of self worth by creating art for yourself, not for recognition or for your wallet.malicewhithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03269514423032788139noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4816950797429263267.post-20608449149611353292009-02-07T16:40:00.000-05:002009-02-07T16:41:25.052-05:00Video Blog Exp!The song is called "Bloodstream" by Stateless. <p><object height="344" width="425"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/mS17DwqCqXs&hl=en&fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/mS17DwqCqXs&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" height="344" width="425"></embed></object>malicewhithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03269514423032788139noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4816950797429263267.post-39832550869635597442009-02-04T01:51:00.002-05:002009-02-04T01:54:46.977-05:00A Letter to the Young and Immature of TallahasseeDear Shallow Motherfuckers of Tallahassee,<br /><br />I don’t want to be your friend if the only reason you want me is to entertain you. I am not like the others in this town. I will not crank out wit and petty jokes for the sake of your attention. If I choose to entertain you it is because you have earned my affection and proven that you are not simply a temporary friend. Too many times have I shared my heart with those who are not looking to learn what its really all about. Too many times have I sought companions in those who want to laugh and smile, yet hide themselves from you. I am not in search of the temporary; I have thrown myself towards wanton desires and needs before. One day you too will discover that to seek the temporary is a path of pain and shallow meaning. There is a big difference in “letting go and having fun” and that life which you lead.<br />Due to your blindness, you may think I’m talking about the opposite sex, or strictly about platonic friendship. You are mistaken. Connections are connections to me. I speak of them broadly because neither you nor I can truly understand what it means when we love one another. It’s a bond without definition, and its my belief that God intended it to be this way. What you do to me, to yourselves and to other is so sad.<br />You deny growth, you see in coming threads of maturity as threats to your youth. How naïve you are to the ways of emotional human evolutions. In public sometimes I pity you, for being so blind as to what it means to truly be temporary. God did not make us to be temporary beings, God made us to love and understand one another. God made us to experience things together, our bonds were made to last. Shedding them will only cause you to suffer in the end. In private however, your mistakes pain me. I wonder what kind of friends we could be had I met you in the near future. A future where you can see that fun can be had without denying the seeds to true companionship to grab you at your boot heels. In silence I suffer. In silence I wait for college to be over so that I may find those who wait for my roots to entwine with theirs.<br /><br /><br />Sincerely,<br />Memalicewhithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03269514423032788139noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4816950797429263267.post-71138877800430338332009-02-02T19:57:00.004-05:002009-02-02T20:01:38.938-05:00Adrienne-ificationThere is a pungent smell on my breath, I stick my nose underneath my collar and close my mouth, but it still does not escape me. It is the smell of worn linen and a hint of morning breath… Most of all this smell is my mother’s. It’s the smell she carries in her short pajama dresses before she reaches for the morning coffee pot and complicates her scent even further. My Dad had the smell too, but his version was different. It scares me to think that I have already forgotten so much of what his version included.<br /><br />I wonder sometimes how much I will be like my mother. Already I am showing tell tale signs of Adrienne-ifcation. I worry like her, I become forgetful of things that stress me out too much when I think of them initially. I pace around the house when its not clean, giving myself an ulcer over every little thing. I dork out in front of people I trust and shut down in front of people that I don’t. Its even starting to become apparent in the way I dress. Constantly I see reoccurring patterns in the things that I buy, everything I like it Native American, turquoise, dark earth tones, or my interest towards things that are knit. I wonder if I really like these things or whether I just miss her.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEia9_8zhE1uRyrNvLG6LsgFqLv00XhCVOwukiooqA2M2C_j6LswcdSlyipSfJjxlRQ8MT2vNo_TqmuPMwUU2sYnuWIFN-E8qqLwJRp7ip4j7ypggtaAU4CnYl8JB9pAfvstbAAnde1Ilk01/s1600-h/n583797567_1188375_9980.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 150px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEia9_8zhE1uRyrNvLG6LsgFqLv00XhCVOwukiooqA2M2C_j6LswcdSlyipSfJjxlRQ8MT2vNo_TqmuPMwUU2sYnuWIFN-E8qqLwJRp7ip4j7ypggtaAU4CnYl8JB9pAfvstbAAnde1Ilk01/s200/n583797567_1188375_9980.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5298369515893537618" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />P.S: She was Sookie Stackhouse for Halloween.<br /><br /><br />True Blood is both hers and mines favorite show. (Though I doubt we could ever watch it together, that'd be a little creepy.)malicewhithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03269514423032788139noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4816950797429263267.post-26981542745588219082009-02-02T16:53:00.003-05:002009-02-02T17:41:44.636-05:00United States of Tara<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://images.eonline.com/eol_images/Entire_Site/20080605/293.collette.ust.060508.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 215px; height: 348px;" src="http://images.eonline.com/eol_images/Entire_Site/20080605/293.collette.ust.060508.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>Another genius piece of writing by Diablo Cody! But this is nothing like Juno, and dare I say, it's even better.<br /><br />This sober dramedy is about a mother with multiple personality disorder, and how her family has learned to love and accept all of them.<br /><br />Favorite line from the show thus far:<br /><br />"Having multiple personalities disorder is like hosting an all night kegger in your head, only you're passed out and everyone else is trashing the place."<br /><br /><br /><br />This show is the shit, please watch it. It's seriously the best thing on TV right now.malicewhithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03269514423032788139noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4816950797429263267.post-58547719395523757002009-01-30T17:35:00.000-05:002009-01-30T17:36:33.482-05:00Chain, chain chain!The Rules: Create a post about yourself with 17 random thoughts, facts, goals, interesting things about yourself . See if anyone picks it up.<br /><br />1. Loyalty is the hardest quailty to come by.<br />It seems like only a small percentage of the population even realize that interpersonal relationships, no matter what they may be, are gifts from God and should not be cast aside at the first sign of sacrifice.<br /><br />2. You can never have enough sex in my book.<br /><br />3. Philosophy sounds like gibberish to me most of the time.<br /><br />4. The only food/drink I could never live without is juice.<br /><br />5. I'm a sensory sort of person. I think the most expressive way to communicate is by touch, the least effective way being words.<br /><br />6. I see the world in terms of what is and what isn't cool Production Design.<br /><br />7. Prolonged isolation makes the mentally healthy people insane. I know this is true because I periodically take week long breaks from other people to have 'me' time. By the end of these periods I always need a social fresher course before I hit up large groups of people.<br /><br />8. Every time I think about my mom throwing out artwork from my house that opened my imagination as a child, I want to get it tattooed to keep it close to me.<br /><br />9. My favorite time to be awake and outside is from 4 am to 9 am, it follows my favorite time to be asleep; 9 am to 5 pm.<br /><br />10. Ideally I would like to spend some time in Japan, but I would never want to go and live there without someone I know to keep me company.<br /><br />11. Without cuddling and spooning, I wouldn't want to live anymore.<br /><br />12. I'm getting over my hate of texting, but I still think its pretty impersonal. Then again, I haven't been able to keep a phone for more than few months since I graduated from High School.<br /><br />13. It doesn't matter to me if I don't become a famous filmmaker. As long as the projects I make reflect myself as an artist (and I can live comfortably), none of that superficial bullshit matters to me.<br /><br />14. I wish people would be more vocal about how much they love each other. It peeves me that people don't think about what they take for granted.<br /><br />15. I have never been afriad to commit, the fear part usually kicks in for me mid way once I realize I might fail after I already have committed. But I'd rather live like this than to be the sort who never even tries.<br /><br />16. My biggest fear is not being able to keep my loved ones close to me, or losing their mutual love for me.<br /><br />17. In the end, I became a family gal after all.malicewhithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03269514423032788139noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4816950797429263267.post-83781555445259703572009-01-30T16:58:00.003-05:002009-01-30T17:21:01.072-05:00The Pharmacy's Sick Joke....~Apologies for the unexplained hiatus, life runs by fast when you're busy. ~<br /><br />At the beginning of this month, and after a very good new years party, I had an accident and ended up having to take Plan B for the first time in my life. Plan B, for those of you who don't know is the non generic name for the morning after pill. Here are the side effects they tell you about:<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.collegecandy.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/08/01/plan-b.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 271px; height: 203px;" src="http://www.collegecandy.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/08/01/plan-b.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><ul><li>Nausea -- in up to up to 23.1 percent of women </li><li>Abdominal pain (stomach pain) -- up to 17.6 percent </li><li>Fatigue -- up to 16.9 percent </li><li><a href="http://headache.emedtv.com/headaches/headaches.html" onmouseout="hideDescription(event);" onmouseover="showDescription(event, 'http://headache.emedtv.com/headaches/headaches.html', 'A headache can involve pain or aching that occurs in the head, face, mouth, or neck.', 'Headaches')">Headaches</a> -- up to 16.8 percent </li><li>A heavier menstrual period -- up to 13.8 percent </li><li>A lighter menstrual period -- up to 12.5 percent </li><li>Dizziness -- up to 11.2 percent </li><li>Breast tenderness -- up to 10.7 percent </li><li>Vomiting -- up to 5.6 percent </li><li><a href="http://diarrhea.emedtv.com/diarrhea/diarrhea.html" onmouseout="hideDescription(event);" onmouseover="showDescription(event, 'http://diarrhea.emedtv.com/diarrhea/diarrhea.html', 'Diarrhea is a symptom in which watery, loose stools occur more than three times a day.', 'Diarrhea')">Diarrhea</a> -- up to 5 percent.</li></ul>Here are the side effects they don't tell you about:<br /><br />-Increased sensitivity to marijuana<br />-Increased sensitivity to alcohol<br />-Mood swings<br />-A MONTH of indigestion<br />-GREATLY increased sexual appetite<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://image34.webshots.com/35/7/6/34/295470634zRfKdm_fs.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 143px; height: 216px;" src="http://image34.webshots.com/35/7/6/34/295470634zRfKdm_fs.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>Some of those were easier to deal with than other but the last one... oh my god. I have a high sex drive as it is, but after taking Plan B, I was about ready to hump a tree. I mean really, I felt like I walk walking around with a 15 year old male dick brain rather than the brain of a 20 year old girl.<br />I am not exaggerating, imagine breathing heavy everytime you fucking sat down and being hard down there CONSTANTLY.<br /><br />Why the fuck would they let a drug that is supposed to keep you from being pregnant make you uber horny the entire month after? Isn't that a little counter intitutive?<br />Sounds like a sick joke to me.<br /><br /><br /><br />This shit really fucks with you and I don't recommend it unless you really absolutely have to. Besides having to deal with both the official side effects and the unofficial ones, the damn thing is 50 god damned dollars.<br /><br />In conclusion, wear a condom girls, even if it is New Years!malicewhithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03269514423032788139noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4816950797429263267.post-69437089014478730562008-12-11T15:06:00.003-05:002008-12-11T15:31:20.756-05:00Dreaming!I had a dream that my entire family and I went to the keys. I didn’t remember driving home from Tallahassee, which I thought was weird. Natasha was there too, which really made me believe that this dream was real because I really am taking her home with me tomorrow. There was a Hispa<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://growabrain.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/rock_garden.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 295px; height: 197px;" src="http://growabrain.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/rock_garden.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>nic monk guy there; we were all sitting in a backyard on the grass with wet sand in the middle of us. The monk guy had dug a hole in the middle of it and was raking the edges like a Zen garden. One of my family members went it, meditated and went out. He then asked for the next person, which ended up being me. He made me sit in the hole, in front of my entire family. He put his hand on my forehead and started to chant. He might have done Reki on me but I don’t specifically remember any being preformed. Anyway, through whenever he did to me, he forced me to meditate, but to meditate with my eyes open and with me being able to speak while I did this. It was kind of like being high on <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSp-XRX6W1N2RD0GslbGyO1X0Iqk76kqfuo9UJcoXK31xYbpgJa-sHUoX3SrEJA2vXWag2zxx8dlf0NcnrKSn_BzWsvTDb3jP9p2KlbGHYNXcaoY_LnU3RvKy7nkE7wZhKPf0k5IxdgHJX/s1600-h/meditation1.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 133px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSp-XRX6W1N2RD0GslbGyO1X0Iqk76kqfuo9UJcoXK31xYbpgJa-sHUoX3SrEJA2vXWag2zxx8dlf0NcnrKSn_BzWsvTDb3jP9p2KlbGHYNXcaoY_LnU3RvKy7nkE7wZhKPf0k5IxdgHJX/s200/meditation1.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5278632124743713346" border="0" /></a>codine but with the kind of giggly warmth that pot gives you. My brother climbed into the hole with me at some point. The monk guy did the same to him. The monk guy asked him what he was feeling and what he was seeing. My brother said something about lights and stars. I think the meditation was supposed to take you to your happy place. When the monk asked me what I was seeing I told him that it was in a warm, dark place, like the womb but with markings on the walls (primitive circle patterns and designs.) My family thought it was strange that my happy place was a dark cave. They thought I was morbid and lay by nature. While I was being meditated, I remember feeling the best I’ve felt in a very long time. I woke up feeling very refreshed and in a very good mood.malicewhithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03269514423032788139noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4816950797429263267.post-76586370691610865022008-12-08T13:37:00.002-05:002008-12-08T13:45:37.217-05:00HomageToday is my Dad's birthday, I wrote this sonnet on my breakfast napkin today:<br /><br />Homage<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2dWCkaUWH_43ouwc6vDynPgv244drogcsQspdyl0-CPVMB0m1DraqxFZzJg51DNewMsk14hbCKaVGcn03Nf6RmqBXczRoKdxFKzf5nScbrSiQDHJm8KJsf8bKOty350l95w_yUFALZDwg/s1600-h/n606579912_173832_1553.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 140px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2dWCkaUWH_43ouwc6vDynPgv244drogcsQspdyl0-CPVMB0m1DraqxFZzJg51DNewMsk14hbCKaVGcn03Nf6RmqBXczRoKdxFKzf5nScbrSiQDHJm8KJsf8bKOty350l95w_yUFALZDwg/s200/n606579912_173832_1553.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5277492188374693554" border="0" /></a><br />Though I walk through the valley of sepia Mangoes and Bluebells,<br />The smell of scotch rising from their blooms merely ornery,<br />I fear no lording nor haunting memory.<br />For I know beyond the aged exposure my father dwells.<br /><br />And on the day I miss him most,<br />a little girl dreams of a scarred, oily and familiar face.<br />its texture en grained upon the ground she walks, a milepost.malicewhithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03269514423032788139noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4816950797429263267.post-73540313303548791232008-12-05T07:01:00.002-05:002008-12-05T07:14:23.378-05:00Pet Peeves: the offical list1. “That’s what she said jokes”<br />2. the Cohen Brothers<br />3. Chewing with your mouth open.<br />4. Men who want ‘blankets’ but lead you on, they’d have you think they’re genuine.<br />5. Girls who are okay with being ‘blankets’ and ruin it for the rest of us<br />6. Brown-nosers who charade themselves in front of teachers<br />7. Insincerity.<br />8. Heavy Metal.<br />9. African Americans who think the world is out to get them.<br />10. Racists who aren’t white.<br />11. People who talk shit about you but smile and pretend to be your best friend in front of you.<br />12. The new facebook.<br />13. People who pick on Obama just to prove they don’t support mainstream society.<br />14. Posers.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.markiac.addr.com/PET_LIFE_RADIO/petpeevespic.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 300px; height: 300px;" src="http://www.markiac.addr.com/PET_LIFE_RADIO/petpeevespic.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />15. Girls who ignore you while in the company of males.<br />16. Scene kids.<br />17. Bitchy girls that you haven’t seen for over 4 years but still shit talk you.<br />18. People who work in porn and advertise it in front of your mom.<br />19. Sob stories that end in me losing a great deal of time/money or both.<br />20. Fox News, and those who defend it.<br />21. One-sided love.<br />22. Obnoxious, too cool for school, people under 18.<br />23. Friends who insist you entertain them all the time.<br />24. Caramel<br />25. Watching, or being exposed to incest.<br />26. Hidden onions.<br />27. Mushrooms, the non-trippy ones.<br />28. Men that don’t want relationships and lie about it.<br />29. Long drives (30 minutes +)<br />30. Touching old guy’s faces, their dry skin… its creepy.<br />31. Any movie I edit after about 3 hours of work.<br />32. Spiders and creepy crawlies.<br />33. Hiding things from my Mom, or the police.<br />34. Cute guys with girlfriends.<br />35. Loosing weight.<br />36. South Park<br />37. Jealousy.<br />38. Pretentious-ass art kids.<br />39. Waiting for your check to come at a restaurant.<br />40. The Police.<br />41. People who can’t differentiate comfortable and uncomfortable silences.<br />42. Angry pets.<br />43. Farting/ Queef noises, in any context.<br />44. Rude people who refuse to believe they are rude.<br />45. Irresponsibility.<br />46. Picky eaters.<br />47. Those who take love for granted.<br />48. Roaches.<br />49. Grits that are too soupy.<br />50. The stink of hedgehogs and their nasty ass poop.malicewhithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03269514423032788139noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4816950797429263267.post-48854478483711143272008-12-02T20:16:00.000-05:002008-12-02T20:18:18.879-05:00Assignment #51Prompt: <a set="yes" linkindex="10" href="http://www.learningtoloveyoumore.com/reports/51/51.php" class="headerone2"><span class="headerone2"><br /></span> <span class="headerone2">Describe what to do with your body when you die.</span></a><br /><br />Don’t let anyone hold my body after I’m really truly dead, please don’t let anyone look at it much either. The image of my mother holding my dead father in her arms still haunts me to this day. I don’t want anyone I love traumatized by a similar image of my remains after I die. I try my best to remember my father alive, happy and healthy rather than what he was reduced to after the onset of 4 stages of cancer. Please cremate it immediately after removing the useful and recyclable organs. Save a handful of my ashes for anyone that wants it. They can keep them or release them anywhere they please.<br />Hopefully by the time I die I’ll have found my perfect someone. I would like my ashes to fertilize a tree in an urban area (somewhere close to him, be he dead or living), use it for a plot that would otherwise have a very hard time growing without the help of my organic material. Please find somewhere close to where my loved ones resides. Put a plaque or some sort of mark to where my loved ones can find this tree and maybe even chose to do the same with their ashes near by, a sort of urban organic cemetery.<br />Let people decorate this tree with art. They can paint the bark (with paint that won’t hurt the tree) or hang stuff from it’s branches. Don’t make visiting the tree about honoring my memory, make visiting the tree about exploring personal creativity and family history.malicewhithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03269514423032788139noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4816950797429263267.post-7318708180013576462008-12-01T00:38:00.002-05:002008-12-01T00:50:53.289-05:00introspection is a diseaseNothing will happen when you want or expect it to happen. As long as you are waiting for it, it will never come. This I feel is a universal truth.<br /><br />Anytime something has come when I was expecting it to... well its always been another ideal wrapped in sheep's clothing.<br /><br />Applying personal happiness to this universal rule of mine makes me feel very sad. I mean fucking forget sexual happiness... They teach you that to the end of a doubt you're going to achieve that at some point in your life.... I mean like god damn. I have got to stop expecting that one to come if nothing else.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://terrystuff.files.wordpress.com/2008/08/insanity.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 300px; height: 294px;" src="http://terrystuff.files.wordpress.com/2008/08/insanity.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><br />If you don't want to experience this inner Nietzsche-esque mental enema I'm experiencing tonight do not go see <span style="font-style: italic;">Synecdoche, New York</span>. Charlie Kaufman has gotten me feeling as close to tripping as I've come without actually ingesting acid in a long ass time...<br /><br />God damn it, I wish I could shut down my mind the way I shut down this computer.malicewhithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03269514423032788139noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4816950797429263267.post-73408095104592508642008-11-08T18:26:00.002-05:002008-11-08T18:42:39.897-05:00A letter to DissapointmentDear "everyone who has ever disappointed me,"<br /><br />Fuck all of you. You have no idea what sincerity is, how rare it is and how to cherish it. None of you deserve the emotion I gave you. Were it not for the lessons you all taught me, our interactions together would have been completely pointless, a waste of both of our time. This lesson was, "expect nothing from those who refuse love for the sake of their own pride." You disgust me and I pity you for being so blind and narrow minded. At the climax of your insults to my feelings towards you, none of you deserve (nor will ever deserve) a fraction of what I may, or may not have felt for you; be you a former friend or something more. May you one day know what it feels like to be on the wrong end of one sided love. It is a testament to my character that after everything you put me through I am still able to love, and trust others. It sucks to know that percise that fact is the reasoning for why I am the one sitting in these shoes. A higher power decided that it was I who was the stronger and the better person. It is the reason why I am the scarfice rather than you. Perhaps it is a blessing that you can't see the lessons of our interactions the way I can. I mean, if I were in your shoes, the guilt and self dissapointment would swallow me whole. I don't know which would be worse, knowing I was a complete piece of shit or knowing that I just gave up on someone capable of never ending devotion. Maybe in this way God is merciful afterall.<br /><br />You're all assholes,<br />Whitnaemalicewhithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03269514423032788139noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4816950797429263267.post-10407689162056423822008-11-05T12:04:00.002-05:002008-11-05T12:06:32.337-05:00Change we did...<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.papermag.com/blogs/barack-obama-bw.png"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 402px; height: 477px;" src="http://www.papermag.com/blogs/barack-obama-bw.png" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />Last night was amazing.<br />From now until the day we pass, we’ll always remember where you were when it happened. The day the torch was passed a new generation took the mantle and finally took hold of our responsibility to the people of the world. The day we finally realized our potential and become empowered by the opportunity of choice. In the days and years to come our will and our resolve will be tested, and for the first time in a long time it feels like we’ll finally exceed our expectations and our beginnings. A new chapter of origins. Barack Obama’s victory over the old republic will be one that will inspire and its one that inspires and renews my own dreams.<br />There are doubts in my mind about whether Obama will really fulfill the vision I have of my ideal America; his position on Israel, gun rights and his relations towards the middle east. But unlike other candidates in his position I really do feel like he will listen to the voices of his people. Above al however, I feel like he will adopt people not of his color into what he considers ‘his people’ a feat a fear which most still find difficult from all ends of race.<br />Change has finally arrived.malicewhithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03269514423032788139noreply@blogger.com0