introspection is a disease

Nothing will happen when you want or expect it to happen. As long as you are waiting for it, it will never come. This I feel is a universal truth.

Anytime something has come when I was expecting it to... well its always been another ideal wrapped in sheep's clothing.

Applying personal happiness to this universal rule of mine makes me feel very sad. I mean fucking forget sexual happiness... They teach you that to the end of a doubt you're going to achieve that at some point in your life.... I mean like god damn. I have got to stop expecting that one to come if nothing else.

If you don't want to experience this inner Nietzsche-esque mental enema I'm experiencing tonight do not go see Synecdoche, New York. Charlie Kaufman has gotten me feeling as close to tripping as I've come without actually ingesting acid in a long ass time...

God damn it, I wish I could shut down my mind the way I shut down this computer.